


The Consequences of Eavesdropping

by WattStalf



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Quiddler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3424040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After making an off-handed comment about Eddie and then running into him during a heist, Harley forms an awkward partnership with him, all while trying to ignore her growing interest in him. Little does she know, he overheard her and is waiting for her to make her move. A short series of Quiddler fluff. Sexual themes are prevalant, seeing as the main plot is their UST.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Conversation in Arkham

**Author's Note:**

> I should be working on my commissions, or anything but this, but my fiance and I have been doing a Quiddler roleplay that I wanted to translate to story form. Some credit must go to him, therefore. This isn't going to be a long story, probably only three to five chapters, but it'll hopefully be cute and fun.

Harleen Quinzel was done for good this time. Sure, she had said that every single time in the past, but she meant it this time. She really and truly did. As soon as she managed to bust out of Arkham, she was on her own for good, and would certainly not go running to the Joker, and would never dream of taking him back if he came after her again. She was done with him.

Ever since she had landed here in the first place, after he had used her as a distraction to escape _yet again_ , she had repeated that. Of course, there were some times in the first few days that she would have gone back to him with open arms if he had broken her out, saying she had done a good job helping him get away, but after a week of hoping, she knew that he wasn't coming for her. _Just like always_.

But unlike always, she wasn't getting back in. She was going to stay far, far away from him once and for all, and prove to the world that she was a capable criminal who didn't need him to get things done. She was never going to be known solely as “the Joker's hench-girlfriend” again.

Poison Ivy was proud of her, and though she didn't quite believe Harley's claims, she tried her best to be encouraging. Even though that involved listening to Harley vent for hours on end about it, she still tolerated it, because she was willing to do just about anything to ensure the young woman stayed away from that lifestyle. She just hoped that Harley would get over it sooner, rather than later, as she was getting sick of every recreation hour consisted of listening to another rant.

“I just don't know why I put up with him for so long,” she said one day, pointing out something that she had already said quite a few times. “I mean, look at me! I could have had any man I wanted. Still could, if I tried for 'em.”

“Then why don't you?” asked Ivy, clearly bored.

“You're right, Red!” she said, laughing. “I should find some lucky guy to rebound with. I just don't know where to start...” Ivy rolled her eyes, not in the mood to listen to Harley discuss the merits of sleeping with every man she had ever met, but as the blonde started listing, she didn't seem to have a chance.

“Of course, I'd probably do Batsy, but who wouldn't?” She snickered. “He's got that strong jaw, and it would drive Mistah J wild to think about! But I doubt he'd ever go for it. Twofy's not _half_ bad-” Again she snickered.- “but wouldn't that be weird? Ya know, since you guys had that thing back before he started his double act?”

Ivy wouldn't have dignified with that a response anyway, but Harley was still on a roll, not giving her a chance to fit a role in edgewise. “Jervis is kinda cute, but I think he's still hung up on that girl that landed him in here, and me and Crane argue too much about our different focuses of study back in college to actually get anything done. I'm not too fond of getting frostbite, either.”

“Well, then,” said her red headed companion, finally finding a space to fit into the conversation, “maybe you shouldn't focus on finding a new guy. Especially since all you can think of is what's wrong with everyone. Maybe you should-”

But Harley interrupted her, saying, “Fine, Red, I'll focus on things I like. I like older guys a lot, but not  _too_ much older, which totally rules out Pengy- though his thing with the fish would have ruled him out anyway. I do want someone classy, though.” Her eyes lit up suddenly. “Ooh, I know, I know! The Riddler! Eddie is definitely older than me, and he's intelligent and not bad on the eyes either. Plus, he's so adorably dorky that it would be fun getting him in bed!”

“Harley,” said Ivy, firmly, “listen. What I was trying to say before you interrupted me, was, why does it have to be someone _here_? Why not just find a nice, normal guy that has no connection to your criminal life?”

“Aw, where's the fun in that?” she asked. “Really, though, it's not like I meant any of that. I'm not getting involved with any new guys for a while, I was just kidding around. I thought listing off different options would be kinda fun.”

And she really hadn't been planning on any sort of rebound. After all, she was planning on taking Gotham by storm on her own. Getting tangled up with a new criminal boyfriend would only complicate things. Still, she hadn't been lying about her preferences.

~X~

Edward Nygma sat alone in his cell, his face flushed and his thoughts racing. He had been like this for approximately an hour, and he didn't know when, or if, it was going to stop. He knew that he hadn't misheard her, and yet it seemed completely impossible that she had said the things that he'd heard. No matter how hard he thought on it, he was without an answer, which was a first for him. What was he supposed to do about this new information?

He had been enjoying his recreation time just as he did every day, when he had happened to pass Harley Quinn in what appeared to be a private conversation with Poison Ivy. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but the blonde was always so loud in everything she said, and he had a natural curiosity. The two hadn't even noticed him crossing the room behind them; there couldn't be any harm in walking a bit slower in order to “accidentally” overhear.

It was then that he had heard her say it, plan as day. “Ooh, I know, I know! The Riddler!” He had stopped short, then, thinking for a moment that she had noticed him and was calling out to him or pointing him out. But she went on, not looking in his direction, “Eddie is definitely older than me, and he's intelligent and not bad on the eyes either.” By this point, he was blushing, but his face turned a deep shade of crimson when he heard her finish with, “Plus, he's so adorably dorky that he would it would be fun getting him in bed!”

_What?_

At that point, he had hurried off, knowing that he had most certainly not been meant to hear that last part. He had asked a guard if he could go back to his cell, and he had remained there through the remainder of the recreation hour, in a state of dazed confusion.

Harley Quinn, the Joker's on-and-off girlfriend, the sexy little blonde that everyone wanted but knew was off-limits, had just confessed to finding him to be attractive. She had confessed to finding him attractive  _and_ she had openly admitted to having a desire to bed him.  _Him_ . Harley Quinn wanted him.

So now what was he to do? He had been far too busy with his schemes to pursue any relationships, and it wasn't as if women had been throwing themselves at him at any point. He had no experience in situations like this. Was he supposed to ask her outright or was he supposed to start things off slowly and build up to that? Did he even want this to happen?

Okay, he knew that there was a part of him that would answer that question with a resounding yes. She was gorgeous, and even he had those desires every now and then. It was about time he finally did something about it. And yet, another part of him wasn't sure if going after her was such a good idea. She was famous for running back to her so-called “lover”, and there was a strong chance she would rebuff his advances if she was planning on going back again.

The only option he was left with was doing nothing. There was no risk to sitting around waiting, and Harley still didn't know that he knew she was interested. There was no way that she was expecting him to make a move, so if she really wanted him, she would make the move herself, and if she didn't, she wouldn't.

Now all he had to do was try and stop over-thinking all the possibilities.


	2. Crossing Paths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I should not be working so hard on this story. Someone stop me before I get out of hand. Thanks again to my lovely fiance, Daniel, for helping me make Eddie sound like the geekass nerd that he is.

A few weeks later, Harley was pleased to find herself back on the streets, back in her familiar jester costume, and back into everything she shouldn't be. It had been a few days since her escape from Arkham, and so far she had managed to avoid capture and pull off some very fun robberies. She was having a blast, stealing things just for her and nobody else, but she knew she was going to have to stop and carefully plan her future soon.

She had nowhere to go. Ivy hadn't believed her escape plan would work, and had opted not to try and come with her this time. She had vowed never to go back to the Joker for anything, even though he had all of her possessions in his hideout (assuming he hadn't thrown them away- _again_ ). Each night, she had hidden somewhere new, with only a large purse she had grabbed from a street vendor filled with her loot and the necessities she had stolen.

Of course, she had made it her first priority to steal a new costume, identical to all the ones in the past, and the makeup to go along with it. With that, some food, and all the valuables she had taken, she was doing alright, but she couldn't live on the streets forever. It was dangerous out there, even for a hardened criminal like herself, and it was hard to avoid capture without a proper hideout.

However, the more pressing matter at hand was a new display at the museum. Several ancient artifacts were on display, and there was a necklace that she simply  _had_ to have. Breaking in was easy enough, as she had done it enough times, and when she made sure the guards were properly knocked out, she entered the room and began planning how to take it without tripping any alarms.

It was just as she had managed to delicately pick up the necklace and put it around her neck, ready to show it off the next chance she got, she heard footsteps and whistling nearing the room. Had she missed a guard somehow? Panicking, she dropped down below a display, trying to hide in the obvious spot.

~X~

Little did she know, it was none other than Edward Nygma, in the market to steal a miniature sphinx that had been rumored to be here. He was not fond of break ins, as they were much more physical and left much less chance for him to flaunt his intellect, but he couldn't resist having something like that on display in his hideout, so he had come to the museum, surprised to find it incredibly easy to get in.

He suspected that he was not alone in robbing the museum tonight and when he saw the top of a red and black cowl drop behind a display, his suspicions were confirmed. And, of course, it was obvious that Harley was the perpetrator. He was immediately reminded of the conversation he had been trying to forget.

What to do, what to do? He had become overly confident when no guards had tried to stop him, and had done nothing to mask his footsteps, even allowing himself to whistle a little tune. She undoubtedly knew that she was not alone, and she would have to come out and assess the situation eventually. Contact with her was unavoidable at this point, and he decided it was better to take the plunge now.

“Like two ships passing in the night, it appears our paths have crossed,” he said, speaking in that strange and pompous way he was famous for.

“Eddie?” he heard a familiar feminine voice say, before seeing Harley's face poke out from her poor hiding spot. When she saw that it was him, she broke into a large grin, saying, “It _is_ you!” She bounded over to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

He felt his face heat up, blushing at the sudden contact with her. “Y-yes, it is,” he managed to stammer as he tried to mask his nerves. He could hear her voice in his mind, repeating over and over again,  _it would be fun getting him in bed._

When she at last pulled back, she looked up at him, still grinning. “What brings you here?” she asked, before gesturing to the large necklace she wore, as if to answer her own question.

“A similar reason,” he replied. “There was something rumored to be on display that I simply had to have.” He showed her the small statue, and she smiled as if she understood. “So...how have things been since you escaped?” he asked, not knowing how best to continue the conversation but not wanting it to end just yet.

“It's been alright,” she replied. “I've just done a few small heists, nothing big just yet. I gotta get settled before I can work on any real plans, ya know?”

“Are you working alone now?” he asked. He had assumed (and also hoped, a bit) that her relationship had still not been repaired, but there was always a chance that she had gone running back as soon as she was out.

“Me and Mistah J aren't seeing each other anymore,” she said simply, but he could hear the hurt in her voice and forgot, for a moment, her comment at Arkham and his nervousness and curiosity regarding it. He could think only of how he wanted to help her in whatever way he could.

“What are your plans for getting out of here?” he asked.

“I dunno,” she answered, shrugging. “I've been playin' this whole thing by ear. Thought it would be more fun this way. I was just hopin' the guards would still be out when I left so I could make a run for it.”

“Well, I happen to have a getaway car outside that I certainly don't mind sharing,” said Edward with a warm smile.

Harley's eyes widened in surprise before her usual carefree grin returned. “I guess my playin' it by ear really paid off!” she said. “But since I now have a much faster way out, I don't have to be as careful leaving!”

“What do you-” he started, but was unable to finish the question as she took off running, making sure to trip several alarms as she did so, laughing hysterically all the while. When he realized exactly what she was doing, he bolted behind her, trying to keep up as they made their for the exit.

“Geez, Eddie, you're so slow!” she called, looking back over her shoulder at him. It was true that she was in much better physical shape than him, and it didn't help that he hadn't been expecting to have to make a run for it like this. She slowed down a bit to grab his hand, then picked up speed again, dragging him along behind her.

~X~

They had been driving for a few minutes before Harley finally managed to calm down and stop laughing. “That was so much fun!” she said. “Seriously, Eddie, that was great. Thanks again for the ride, by the way. I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, it's nothing, really,” he said with a small smile. She was hit for the millionth time that night by just how attractive she found him. Of course, she had always thought he had the classy, handsome dork thing going for him, but tonight, it had seemed all the more obvious to her, and she was sure that this had something to do with a certain conversation she had had with Ivy not long ago.

She hadn't meant anything serious by it, and she knew that, yet the entire evening, she had constantly had to disguise the fact that being around him made her feel off balance, even a little bit shy. She never let on that she was feeling this strangely, but it was always in the back of her mind, and for reasons she did not understand.

After all, he wasn't the only guy she had talked about. Granted, he was the only one to fully “pass the test”, but that didn't change too much about it, especially considering she had no intention of actually acting on what she had said. She didn't think that she would feel like this around anyone else, so it didn't make one bit of sense that her insides were all aflutter just because she had expressed interest in him once upon a time.

“Where would you like me to drop you off?” he asked, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Where are you staying right now?”

“Oh...nowhere in particular,” she said with a shrug. “I've been lots of places, but I haven't found one of my own just yet. You can drop me off anywhere.”

“Don't tell me you've been living on the streets!” he said, surprised.

“Just till I can find somewhere. I've been lookin', it's just been a slow process.”

“Do you not know how unsafe that is?” he asked. When she merely shrugged again, he said, “Well, uh...” He coughed. “I do have some extra room. You could stay with me for as long as you needed, if you'd like.”

Her heart skipped a beat at his words. Again, she could hear own voice, rattling off his good characteristics and expressing a desire to spend a night with him. To accept his invitation could end up being a very bad idea and yet before she could stop herself, she said, “Aw, do ya really mean it, Eddie? That'd be great!”

As they continued their drive, she tried again and again to push the thoughts out of her head. If she was going to stay with him, she would have to learn to practice self control and keep her hands to herself. But, really, how hard could it be?

~X~

He should have known better than to invite her to stay with him, but the thought of a young woman like her spending her nights alone on the streets was too much for him to bear. Being spotted by almost anyone could end badly for her, ranging anywhere from landing her back in Arkham to landing her dead in a dumpster. His overwhelming urge to help her had only grown upon hearing that, and he had had no other choice but to invite her.

But now that he really had time to think about what he had gotten himself into, he felt incredibly uneasy. They would be alone in his hideout for the whole night. Would she make a move and attempt to “get him in bed”, as she had said she wanted to do? And what would he do if she did? He was the sort who had all the answers, but this answer was one that he couldn't hope to grasp.


	3. In Which He's Shirtless, and She's Only in a Shirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might end up being a little bit longer than five chapters. It all depends on how much I'm able to cut back and how much I end up extending upon. But all of this was supposed to happen in chapter two, soooooo. It's probably gonna be too long.

When they pulled up to an abandoned house on the very outskirts of the very outskirts of town, Harley knew they had arrived, not just because he slowed down, but because of the question mark painted skillfully on the door. It was out of the way enough that no one had found it yet, but if anyone bothered to come looking this way, it wouldn't be hard to figure out who lived there. Subtlety was not Eddie's strong suit, it seemed.

When they pulled up, he hurried out of the car, and ran to her side, reaching the door handle before she had a chance to open it. She almost burst out laughing at that; he was slow enough when it came to escaping, but when it came to being a gentleman, it seemed he had no trouble. She appreciated the gesture, though it only made her think more fondly of him, which didn't bode well for her situation.

_I've barely spent any time with the guy, and I'm already thinkin' like a schoolgirl with a crush! s_ he thought as he reached a hand out to help her out of the car. Though both of them wore gloves, she could still feel the warmth of his hand, and had to bite down on the inside of her cheek to keep from making some sort of delighted squeak. That was one habit she really,  _really_ needed to break.

When their eyes met, he looked like he had been electrocuted (but she knew that he couldn't have- she hadn't worn a hand buzzer in months!) as he jumped back, stammering, “W-well, here we are.” He then rushed to the door to open it for her, saying, “Ladies first.”

She was a goner. There was no other way around it. He was such a charmer, in the geekiest possible way, he was handsome, and he was cute to fault. It had been impossible not to notice how desirable he was from a distance; to be up close with him and really get to see his personality, all coupled with the fact that she was currently single, made her want him to the point that she could almost believe she was starting to fall for him.

She was completely and unbelievably doomed.

~X~

“And this is the room where you will be staying,” said Eddie, gesturing to a mostly-empty room. There had been a bed there when he found the place, and his need for cleanliness had made him find a decent bedspread for it and spruce it up, though he hadn't been planning on having any company at the time. “It isn't much, but you can fix it up any way you want. There's a bathroom two doors down with a shower that you have all to yourself.”

“It's perfectly fine,” she said. It was better than anything she had had recently; she was just grateful that she would have a bed to sleep in. During the grand tour, she had found that he had not just marked his door up with his signal and she couldn't help but giggle at his need to leave his mark everywhere. It wasn't a bad place for being abandoned, but she was sure he had had a part in that.

“Still, I think you'll be needing some of the necessities soon,” he said. “Perhaps some new outfits?”

“That is true,” she said. “This costume is all I have right now.”

“Well, if you'd like, I could take you to 'pick some things up' tomorrow,” he offered, smirking.

“That'd be fun!” replied Harley, grinning. “If there's one thing I learned tonight, stealin' with you is a blast!” As soon as she said it, she realized that they hadn't really done much together. They had only run into each other and ran off together, which she could have done with absolutely anyone, and yet she felt like that was something she wanted to repeat with him.

“I...” She saw him blush, and was overcome by the desire to pinch his cheeks. Luckily, she was able to repress it. “I'm glad you had fun. I did too. And I'm looking forward to tomorrow.”

“That reminds me,” she said, “I was wonderin' if I could put my costume in the laundry. Do ya have anything I could sleep in?”

Again, she was rewarded with that adorable blush of his. “You could borrow a shirt of mine, I suppose. Just leave your costume in the bathroom, and I'll take it while you're showering.”

“Thank you so much,” she said. “For everything, I mean.”

“Oh, don't mention it, Miss Quinn,” he said with a chuckle as he walked away to give her her privacy.

~X~

After a long shower that felt much more luxurious than it actually was, Harley finally managed to force herself out. Her face was thoroughly washed clean, and her costume was gone, replaced with a white button down and a towel. She dried her hair, humming to herself as she did so, and put on his shirt, buttoning it. It was so large on her that it managed to cover her like a dress.

She decided to tell him goodnight before retiring to her room, and walked down the hallway to the master bedroom. The door was open, so she poked her head in, saying, “Eddie?” But when she saw him, her jaw almost hit the floor.

He stood in front of her, in only his signature green dress pants and glasses, his upper body on full display for her. Despite his scrawny build, he was quite lean, with just the right amount of muscle. He wasn't stronger than the average male, but he was a lot better built than she would have expected of him. Simply put, he looked fantastic, and she was so overwhelmed that it took all she had not to beg him to take her right then and there.

“H-H-H-Harley?” he asked, face turning a bright shade of red. His eyes darted up and down her body, looking as if he was feeling just as overwhelmed as she was.

“I was just comin' to say goodnight,” she said, looking down. If she didn't stop staying, he was going to figure out just how distracted she was by him.

“O-oh. Goodnight,” he said with a nervous smile.

“Goodnight, Eddie,” she said, stopping for one more look. She had to get out of there, before she lost all self control. “I'll see ya tomorrow!” With that, she started back for her room, knowing that it would be a while before she was actually able to get any sleep.

~X~

_Whoa_ .

That was the only thought on Eddie's mind for about thirty seconds after Harley had left his room.  _Whoa_ .

He had been standing in his room, lost in thought about his new housemate, when she had showed up unexpectedly. And then she had entered his room, wearing nothing but his shirt. It was surreal and breathtaking to see a young woman, especially a knockout like her, wearing his clothes, and when you factored in how much it showed off her fantastic legs, it was a wonder she hadn't given him a heart attack.

He had to admit, when she had entered his room dressed like that, with he himself half-dressed, he had thought for a moment that she was making her move. After all, it was the perfect opportunity for her, now that she had him alone in his home. He had been panicked, not knowing what to do or say if she did, but had felt a bit disappointed when he learned she was only there to say goodnight.

No matter how aware he was of the fact that he had no experience, that he would be left without a clue, that she would most likely end up disappointed with what he had to offer, he could not stop wanting this. It would end disastrously, he knew, but the reward seemed to outweigh the risk, and did even know how much she was teasing him? If only should would give him some kind of sign!  
But there was another predicament forming, one that he could never have dreamed of predicting. And though he knew he was probably just confusing his borderline-obsessive desire for her, he couldn't shake the feeling that he might be developing feelings for her.

He could already tell it was going to be a sleepless night.


	4. This is a Stick Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the chapters just keep coming. Blahblahblah, credit to Daniel for helping inspire this.

When Harley woke up the next morning, she was acutely aware that she had been dreaming about Eddie the night before. Though this was definitely preferable to her usual dreams, it was still a bit troubling. Why couldn't she stop thinking about him as a potential lover? She wished she had never had that conversation with Ivy; then she wouldn't be constantly wondering what sort of lover he was and, even worse, wondering if there was more to her attraction.  
  
She got up, seeing that her costume had been washed and placed in her room while she was asleep. It so figured that he would be the type to get up early. She hoped that she hadn't been sleep talking when he had been in the room, though!  
  
She was about to put it on when she felt her stomach growl. She hadn't eaten anything since early the previous evening, so of course she was starving. It was a bit time consuming to put on the whole costume, so she decided to go see about breakfast before she got dressed.  
  
When she entered the kitchen, she saw that there was already breakfast on the table for her. Eddie was just finishing up a crossword puzzle ( _figures_ , she thought), and hadn't even noticed her entering the room. She was both relieved and disappointed to see that he was fully dressed. What she wouldn't give for a chance to see that body again! But she knew that it would be nearly impossible to control herself if that were to happen again.  
  
“Good morning,” she called to him.  
  
“Good morning, Har-” His eyes widened as he looked up at her, noticing that she was still only in his shirt. She realized that she probably should have at least changed into her bodysuit. “H-Harley. Good morning, Harley,” he finished with a nervous chuckle that sounded more like a cough.  
  
She sat down at the table, keeping her legs crossed to avoid showing anything explicit, and said, “Thanks so much for breakfast!”  
  
“You're quite welcome,” he mumbled, and the two fell into an awkward silence. She could feel heavy tension in the room, though she wondered if it was just her own sexual tension being blown out of proportion. She had it bad, and if she didn't do something to remedy that soon, she was going to go out of her mind. Well, more so than she already was, anyway.  
  
~X~  
  
After what seemed like an endless silence, Eddie finally spoke up, saying, “Well, would you like to go on our little 'shopping spree' soon?”  
  
She nodded, getting up and saying, “Just let me get dressed and I'll be ready to go!” As she walked out of the room, he couldn't help staring. Really, those legs were going to be the death of him if she kept showing them off like that. He tried to distract himself by cleaning up his kitchen, whistling absentmindedly as he did so.  
  
Despite knowing that the day would be incredibly uncomfortable for him, given his interest in the woman he'd be accompanying around town, he couldn't help but be excited to spend some time with her. Having her around made him realize that he really didn't bother getting to know enough people and he wanted to fix that, starting with Harley. Potentially ending with her, as well.  
When she came back in, in her full costume and makeup, she posed theatrically. “All ready to go!” she declared, grinning widely.  
  
~X~  
  
“So, where would you like to go first?” he asked when they were driving.  
“Only the finest boutiques in Gotham,” she said with a wicked grin. “We gotta keep me beautiful, of course!”  
“Of course, of course,” he said, smiling a bit. The tension from breakfast seemed to be diffused, at least for now. “Just point the way.”  
She gave him directions to her favorite store, one that she had never been able to shop in but one that she had become particularly fond of when she began obtaining her clothes through less-than-legal means. It would be the perfect place to start restocking her wardrobe.  
When they arrived, she threw open the doors dramatically and said, “Alright, boys and girls! Stay out of my way and keep the cops out of this and nobody gets hurt!”  
The reaction was immediate panic. As she and Eddie strode in, customers fought each other to get to the nearest exits. The clerks stood frozen behind the counter, hands up in surrender. It felt so good to know that she had the power to elicit such a response. She should have stopped doing the whole henchgirl thing ages ago!  
“Eddie, be a dear and keep our little friends from pushing any alarms, will ya?” she asked, knowing that it wouldn't be too long before one of them got brave. She had to scope out her potential “purchases” quickly.  
As she flitted about, grabbing anything she liked that was in her size (and some things she didn't, and some things that weren't, because she could), Eddie stood at the counter, tapping his signature cane and doing his best to look intimidating. He had tended to stay away from crimes like this- waltzing in and holding the place up with no real plans, depending more on physical strength than intelligence- but somehow Harley had even made this fun for him.  
Soon, she was at the counter with him and demanding one of the clerks bag her findings for her. As soon as that was done, she grabbed his hand, just like the night before, and took off running with him, laughing all the while. They made it outside and in the car in record time, knowing that one of the clerks had undoubtedly set off an alarm by now and that they would have to move fast to avoid the cops.  
As they sped off, Eddie couldn't help but laugh along with her.  
~X~  
That evening, after a long day of hitting various stores around town and dodging cops, they finally made it home, exhausted and giggling over their day. Both had had an excellent time, and had all but forgotten any weirdness between them. And to top it all off, they had worked well together, picking up on each other's actions and acting accordingly. In just a short time, they had become so much like a team that it was nearly impossible to remember how uncomfortable they had been initially.  
“That was so much _fun_!” Harley said, as soon as they were inside. “I know ya said ya don't normally do stuff like that, but you coulda fooled me! You were like a pro today!”  
“Well, perhaps it's because I've been learning from an excellent teacher,” he replied with a wink.  
“Don't go flattering me now, ya might make me blush!” she teased.  
“Why, Harleen,” he said, feigning surprise, “I wouldn't dream of it!”  
_This could work_ , he thought suddenly. And it was true; they worked so well together, and he had warmed up to her so much over such a short amount of time. Whether she wanted him or not, he knew that neither of them could deny that they had a certain chemistry, at least where crimes were concerned. If they worked together in the future, who knew what they could accomplish! He noticed her staring intently at her, and figured she must be thinking the same thing.  
“Harley,” he said, in a more serious, but inviting tone. “I think we sh-mmf!” He was interrupted by her lips crashing onto his.  
_Wait, what?_  
He thought that there was no way that that could be right, but every time he stopped to assess the situation, that appeared to be exactly what had happened, and what was currently happening. Harley was kissing him, her arms wrapped around his neck, her hands knocking his had off and tangling in his hair.  
When at last he had gotten over his shock and denial, he reached an acceptance of the situation. Harley was kissing him, and rather passionately, at that. It was round about the third time he had been kissed by a potential love interest in his life, and the first time in at least a decade. Knowing all of this at last, and really understanding it, he could relax and kiss her back.  
So, after about two seconds of her kissing him and him working through it in his mind, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and met her lips with what he hoped was equal force. He was inexperienced and rusty at this, so he could only do his best and pray she found it to be as enjoyable as he did at that moment (though he sincerely doubted anyone could feel as good as he did).  
It suddenly occurred to him, as he felt her moan softly into his mouth, that this was it. She was making her move. She was doing what she had expressed interest in doing all those weeks ago, right here and now. All the anticipation and nerves, all the awkward tension and hoping, every last moment had led up to this, and he was sure that he was ready. There would be the eventual issue of confessing that he was more fond of her than he had let on, and there would be the question of if she would still want to work together after the fact, but for once, he wasn't going to worry about that. All he cared about was what was about to happen, and so he mimicked her moan.  
But then she pulled away, and her face did not suggest anything that he had expected. She looked afraid, upset, apologetic. Had he done something wrong? Had he done something that made her realize just how inexperienced he was, and she had decided that coming onto him had been a mistake?  
“I...I'm sorry, Eddie,” she said, looking down as she did so. “I don't know what came over me. I just...I got caught up in the moment and I...really, I'm sorry.”  
“That's not a moment I can say I mind getting caught up in,” he replied, confused. Was he really that bad?  
“Eddie,” she said, her voice sounding weak, “we...we can't. I mean. One of us might get hurt and you're just such a great guy. I don't...I don't want to do anything to mess up what we have. I think it would be best for both of us if we just...forgot that part of tonight ever happened.”  
He blinked. She really meant what she was saying, he could tell, and yet he felt like she didn't want to say it. What was her deal, anyway? The mixed signals she kept sending him made her too complicated for even him to figure out. Did she want him, or not? Why had she said what she said at Arkham? Why had she come into his room, barely dressed, the night before? Why had she kissed him?  
Did she even mean what she had said to Ivy?  
“I understand,” he said at last, barely managing to mask the hurt in his voice. “I believe I got carried away as well, and I wouldn't want to mess things up either. If you're willing to pretend this didn't happen, then so am I.”  
She smiled at him, but her eyes still looked uneasy. “Thank you,” she said. “Well, on that note, it's been a pretty busy day. I think I'm gonna go get some sleep. Goodnight, Eddie!”  
“Goodnight,” he said, waving weakly as she walked to her room.  
~X~  
_Of all the stupid things, I just had to lose my self-control like that!_  
As Harley began to get ready for bed, she wanted to punch herself. How could she have kissed Eddie like that, without any warning? One minute, they had been laughing together, chatting back and forth about their day, finally comfortable with one another, and the next, her lips had been on his and she had been about three seconds from shoving him on the floor. What was she thinking?  
Of course, she realized she couldn't have actually been thinking. If she had been thinking, she would have remembered that it wasn't a good idea to screw up her new friendship because she was lonely, it wasn't a good idea to jump on the first guy who showed her a little kindness, and it wasn't a good idea to put Eddie in a position where he might get hurt.  
She wanted him more than she could possibly say, but she cared for him, and did not want to use him like the easy rebound she had boasted about obtaining a few weeks prior. She wanted to work by his side again and again, not be a one night stand that meant nothing to either of them.  
The more she contemplated the situation, the more she realized she was afraid of hurting herself, not just hurting him. She was really coming to care for him more than she ever could have predicted, and it was becoming clear to her that she was very much at risk of falling head over heels for him.  
This was dangerous and it was not worth the risk, but she knew that she wanted to stay at his side as long as possible. Therefore, she would never again do what she had done tonight. She would maintain perfect self-control and do her best to remain by his side as whatever she could be.  
It was time to request a partnership.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this looked like it was gonna be the shortest chapter in the story thusfar and ended up the longest. Go figure.


	5. El Scorcho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, at long last! The penultimate chapter. Finally, I've run out of excuses to drag this story out. Chapter title is based on a song by Weezer, because I think the lyrics in the bridge (starting with “I wish I could get my head out of the sand”; look it up!) is cute for these two.

“Good morning,” mumbled Eddie as Harley walked into the kitchen, today dressed in a simple red sundress that she had gotten the day before. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't look at her without thinking about her kiss the night before. Of course, it didn't help that the dress gave him a fantastic view of her legs.  
“Good morning,” she replied, her voice cheerful. He wondered if she felt even a little bit awkward from the night before, or if it had really just been spur of the moment for her, and if she had actually managed to forget it, as she had suggested they do.  
“How did you sleep?” he asked, trying to keep a conversation going to hide that he had most certainly not managed to forget. How pathetic would she find it if she knew that he had not only wanted it to go farther, but also that he wanted more for their relationship in general!  
“I slept pretty good,” she said, sitting next to him at the table and looking over his shoulder at the crossword puzzle he had just finished. It had been his eleventh that morning, which was much slower going than he was used to. She consumed his thoughts to the point that concentration was growing more and more difficult.  
He started another puzzle, hyper-aware of her eyes on him. He could hardly keep his hands from shaking, and the answers came to him in twice the time they normally did. He feared that he would take up to five minutes on this one, and knew that he would not be able to complete the puzzle book that morning, like he normally did.  
“Hey, Eddie, I have a question,” she said suddenly. “And you can say no if you want to. It's just, since I'll be staying here for a while, and we had so much fun yesterday, I was wondering. I'd like to try doing some schemes your way, so do ya think maybe we could team up for your next one?”  
He looked up at her, surprised. She wanted to work with him again? And, even better, she wanted to try things his way? Overcome with joy, he couldn't hide the eagerness in his voice as he said, “Of course! That would be wonderful!” He hesitated a moment before saying, “If you like what we do, we could work together more often. Perhaps we could...form a partnership?” He practically held his breath, hoping she wouldn't laugh in his face at his suggestion.  
“I'd love to!” she said, a large grin breaking out on her face.  
~X~  
Harley was ecstatic that her plan had gone even more perfectly than she had hoped. She had planned to bring up the possibility of working together again, and, if he agreed, subtly hint again and again that they worked well together to gauge his reactions. If, by the end of their heist, he seemed to agree, she would ask to work together on a full-time basis. However, as soon as she had asked for the one chance, he had immediately asked her for a partnership. Everything was going fantastically!  
“You know what I've been thinkin'?” she asked later that day.  
“What's that?”  
“I was thinkin' that I need a new costume,” she said. “I like my old costume plenty, but...things were different back then, and that identity was created specifically for...well, you know.” She hated bringing up anything to do with her old relationship; she didn't want to remember it or remind anyone of it. “So, I figure I should probably reinvent myself.”  
“I like that idea,” he said. “I like your old costume as well, but I understand what you mean. I'm sure there are some painful memories attached to it.”  
“Well, I'm gonna fix that right up!” said Harley, a smile brightening her face. “By the time I'm done with this outfit, everyone'll know I'm workin' for someone new!”  
“Harley,” he said, surprised. “You're not working _for_ me. You're not my henchman or anything of that sort. You and I are equals. You are working _with_ me.”  
“Eddie,” she said softly, feeling tears prick at her eyes. She had not expected him to say something like that. She had not expected anyone to say anything like to her, at any point in her life. Even with Ivy, who was all about female empowerment, she was nothing but a sidekick, along for the ride. Never had she been valued as an equal. Never had someone told her that there was a difference between “working for” and “working with”. “I...thank you. You don't know how much that means to me.”  
“Well, it's the truth,” he replied simply. “You're a former psychiatrist. It should be obvious to anyone how intelligent you are! I would love to hear what kind of ideas you have, and your opinions on what I come up with. On top of that, you're faster and stronger than I am. You add a strength to my operations that I would not have on my own. I can't see how you would think I could possibly see you as anything less than my equal.”  
It was unavoidable, she realized. She was, without a doubt, going to fall very much in love with this man. She knew this, and she knew that pursuing it would be impossible, given how different they were, given how wonderful their friendship was, given her past that no man would want to have to make up for. Still, she was going to fall in love with him, and she didn't care what that meant; she was never going to leave his side because he didn't just make her feel like she was worth something. He made her feel like she was priceless.  
~X~  
The next few days were marked by a quiet business. Eddie was hard at work, formulating his plans. Occasionally, he would read things off to Harley, explaining where he was going with it and asking her if there was anything she thought he should change. She would tweak things every now and then, but more often than not, she was in agreement with him. When she wasn't listening to him, she was in and out, collecting pieces for her new costume, and working on it in her room. She refused to let him see anything, as she wanted it to be a surprise.  
They fell into a comfortable rhythm with one another throughout those days, and became closer and closer. Their awkwardness seemed to be diffused, at least for the time being, as they became focused on their tasks. Both were content with their partnership and comfortable with one another; this could definitely work out.  
Really, it seemed as though nothing could upset their new friendship. Though their sexual tension and kiss had not been forgotten, it was easier to push those things aside and be happy with what they had.  
Eddie still occasionally wondered about what he had overheard and if she was ever planning on acting on those desires, or if those desires even still existed, but he was willing to let that go for now. After all, he was happier than he had ever been. He could ignore absolutely anything in favor of spending time with Harley.  
In fact, he could even ignore the very obvious fact that he was no longer interested in her out of curiosity and basic desires. He could ignore the very obvious fact that he had developed strong romantic feelings for her. He knew that nothing could really come of it, and that if she ever made a move on him, he would have to pretend that he was happy with the fling as it was, and if she never made a move, he would have to continue to pretend that their friendship was all he wanted.  
Because, really, to say that he wanted more would not only be met with rejection from her, but would also be asking too much. The closeness that they had developed already was more than he could have ever dreamed of, and certainly more than he felt that he deserved, given the fact that he had only begun to really notice her because he had thought there was a chance of sleeping with her. If she wanted to be his friend, and his partner in crime, he would be satisfied with that.  
He could continue ignoring his feelings for her if it meant that that friendship would be preserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but it's building up for the ending.


	6. More Than One Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have it, the grand finale! Now maybe I can focus on something I'm actually supposed to be writing. Also, one last thanks to Daniel for this one.

A week had passed, and both had just about wrapped up everything they had been working on. The plan was perfect by both of their standards and her new costume was complete, though Harley still refused to show it to him just yet. She wanted to wait until they put their plan into action to let him see her in it.  
They were incredibly happy to have put together such a wonderful scheme, and were excited to try it out, but without anything to keep them busy, an old problem started to arise again. Namely, the fact that they were in the process of falling desperately in love with one another and trying to shake that off. Without their work to distract them, those thoughts returned to the forefronts of their minds.  
Still, Eddie tried his best to keep things normal. He had finally grown so comfortable with Harley that the thought of losing that and going back to their strained silences and heavy tension was too much for him. No matter how often he ended up stammering and blushing, he still tried to keep casual conversation going with her. He just hoped that his actions wouldn't give away his feelings.  
“So, tomorrow's the big day, huh?” she asked, referring to their plans.  
“Yes, it is,” he replied. “Are you excited?”  
“Of course I am! It's gonna be so much fun!” she said, grinning. “Really, I've been so happy lately.”  
“I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life,” he confessed, unable to help it and hoping that that didn't sound too sentimental. However, Harley was looking at him so intently that he was sure she could read exactly what he was thinking. “I...I mean,” he said, trying to cover it up, “I've been having fun too. I-I-I just was trying to say...well, what I meant was-”  
For the second time, she interrupted him with her lips on his and her hands in his hair. This time, he did not need to think so much, and only gave in to her kiss, pulling her closer to him and deepening it. She kissed him fervently, starved, as though she had felt every aching desire that he had felt over the past week and a half.  
She tugged at his hair and bit down on his lip, causing him to moan into her mouth. This granted her tongue entrance and she explored his mouth roughly, pulling his hair so hard that it hurt. But this, he didn't mind, because how could he mind anything when he had her kissing him like this?  
When they at last parted, it was not as abrupt as the last time, and they stared at each other for a bit, catching their breath. She looked even more beautiful to him, if that was even possible. Perhaps the last kiss had not been her making her move, but there was no doubt in his mind that she meant it this time.  
He once again put his arms around her, pulling her into a light embrace. “Oh, Harley,” he said softly.  
“Eddie,” she said, her voice cracking. She pushed away from him, and he was surprised to see her eyes were teary. “I-I'm sorry.”  
“No,” he said, in complete and total disbelief. Was she really going to brush something like that off again?  
“No, listen,” she said. “I'm really, really sorry. It's not fair of me to keep losing control of myself like that and putting you in that position. I'm so, so sorry that I did that to you again, but we just...can't.”  
“Harley, what the hell is going on here?” he burst out, frustrated. How could she keep playing him like this? “You keep sending me this ridiculous mixed signals, and I don't know how I'm supposed to keep up with you or figure out what you want from me.”  
“Eddie, I'm so-”  
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “No, I don't want to hear you apologize anymore. All I want is answers. Why do you keep doing this to me? First, you come into my room when we're both half-dressed, then act like it's nothing. Then, you kiss me and say you didn't mean it. Then, when we finally start to act like things are normal, you kiss me _again_ , and then back off. Why do you keep trying to start something with me that you don't even want?”  
“It's not that I don't _want_ it,” she said, “it's just that...”  
“Do you actually?” he asked, laughing bitterly. “I certainly thought you did a few times, but every single time, you always apologize and run off and insist we pretend it never happened! It sounded like you wanted it, too, but I suppose you didn't mean what you said at Arkham at all!”  
Both of their eyes widened. He hadn't intended to let her know that he had heard that, but he was so caught up in his frustration at their situation that he had accidentally let it slip. He was sure she was surprised by this.  
“You heard that?” she asked, stunned.  
“I didn't mean to eavesdrop,” he said, “but I just happened to be passing and I heard my name. Ever since then, I've been so confused. If you actually want me, why do you keep acting like you're making a move, then stop? I want you, Harley. If it's because you think I don't, I do.”  
“We can't!” she screamed suddenly, startling him.  
“But why not?” he asked. “That's what I've been trying to figure out, but I am at a complete loss.”  
“Because I don't just want you!” confessed Harley at last. “Maybe I wanted a night with you back then, but I don't want just that anymore. But you're so sweet and adorable and perfect, and I'm just damaged goods that will never deserve someone like you! Okay? I know that, and I'm just scared of losing you. You make me feel like somebody, and I don't know what I'd do without you! I'd rather just keep things the way they are and be happy with it. I don't want a night with you because I know that's all I'd ever get.”  
“Harley,” he said softly, shocked. Was she saying what he thought she was saying. “I would never...I would never do something like that to you. I don't think you're damaged goods, and the thought of _you_ not deserving _me_ is laughable. You're beautiful and intelligent and fun, and one of the only real friends I've ever had. You are not damaged goods, and one night is not all you would get from me.”  
“But, Eddie, I really think I'm falling for you. I mean, for real.”  
“Well, then,” he said, blushing but unable to keep a stupid grin from forming, “I believe we have something in common. You could throw a sack of bricks off the side of a cliff, and I'd still say I've fallen harder.”  
“You really want to be with someone like me?” asked Harley. “After everything you know about me, you really want to be with me?”  
“Like I said, you aren't damaged goods. There is nothing that could make me not want to spend every day with you,” he replied.  
“Oh, Eddie,” she cried, enveloping him in a tight hug. “I'm so happy, really. I'm sorry for actin' so confusing lately.”  
“It's alright,” he said, returning her hug and rubbing her back gently. “You were just confused to. But, now that the problem has been solved and everything has been figured out, we can move on.”  
“I hope by 'move on', you mean continue,” she said, pulling back from the hug and looking up at him with a wicked smile. “Because I'd really like to pick up where we left off. There's been a little something I've been wanting to do for a while now...of course, you know all about that, don't you, ya little eavesdropper?”  
His face turned a deep shade of red as he realized what she was saying. “H-H-Harley! Y-you mean-” But he couldn't finish his sentence, because she interrupted him once again with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! I actually finished something. Way to go, Hannah. May or may not write a sequel with them bangin'. Also may or may not write a little something about her new costume. Thanks for reading and remember to spread the Quiddler love.


End file.
